Let me hear you call my name.
Lindy, Sweet 17. I fall, I rise, I make mistakes, I live. I learn, and I've been hurt, but i'm alive. I'm human and I'm not perfect, but Im thankful.
More than words.
Aster's baby since 7th feb. Baby, i'm thankful that i've met you. Its you who bring me out of the torture i've been suffering for months. If not for you, i may still be blinded in love with someone i shouldnt be. Even though we dont know each other for long,
but i always feel secured at your side. I love the way you make me laugh like no tomorrow, and make me feel so special to be yours. I hope we do last long, and be a happy couple understanding each other :) Saranghaeyo.
You know you love me, too.
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Judgemental Society
Tuesday, July 10, 2012
Have you ever felt insecure of your looks and being paranoid about how people will judge you? I do. Often. Because i came to know the fact that, people in this society judge you first by how you look before even trying to know you or be your friend. I've been judged by friends, by people, many many times. Truthfully at first, i do hide under my blankets crying to myself in the middle of the night, i do rant to myself or my mom asking her why am i born not pretty, why am i fat. But my mom will always tell me, girl ah, you're my prettiest daughter, dont bother about how people look at you. Yeap, i did heed to that advice, but soon after... that advice wasnt really effective for me anymore.  Im FAT, Im TANNED, Im SHORT, I do not have NICE FEATURES. I could hardly feel that i'm even pretty enough. People do say things like hey, go exercise la, you overweight leh. / wah you gained weight, now so fat already ah . I know , i know all of these. It MAKES SENSE but one thing people do not understand is that these words are HURTFUL, STRAIGHTFORWARD . I dont need comments like that. But encouragements, words of encouragement for me to slim down for a reason. No one did those, only some of my close friends who tell me , fat so what. You're not fat compared to fatter people. I do appreciate that. But i have to say , I wanna be SLIM, i wanna wear pretty clothes. I hate the fact that everytime i go to shop, i can only shop for SHIRTS, DRESSES, but i hate to shop for SHORTS. I hate it, when i found a shorts i love, i can only look from afar , because many times, it doesnt have my size. It happened everytime, which makes me feel relunctant to shop anymore. Everytime i browse at online stores, pretty clothes and shorts i couldnt fit into, how depressed i am. I want to have the body which i can fit into those apparels. Just to make me feel PRETTY at least once? but it never came true. :') sadly.  He, He is the one who motivated me to work hard to slim down. Even though he's straightforward inhis words, sometimes it do hurt me. But, he made an effort to tell me, if i slim down and become prettier, he'll buy 1 clothes per KG i slimmed down. Its not impossible but worthy for me to try to slim down by controlling my diet and exercising everyday. I believe hardwork can pay off, and i'm trying hard to exercise everyday now. I wanna prove to everyone , those who once said I was FAT, those who judged me and rejected me before that for these few months or years coming, i'll change, i'll change to be slimmer to be prettier, i wanna prove that i can do it. Nothing is impossible. I want to be a pretty girlfriend of his, a pretty bride if i get married, a girl whose confidence will come back after she slims down. Thats my aim...my goal which i hope to achieve by end of this year. --  Furthermore, i'm thankful to have awesome polymates who encouraged me and helped me along the way throughout my polylife. Those endless laughings with them , really make my everyday a happy one. Love them *-)! Lastly ending w a quote; There comes a point in life when you have to let go of all the pointless drama & people who created it. Surround yourself with people who make me laugh so hard that you forget those bad times and focus solely on the good. Afterall, life is too short to be anything but HAPPY. Love, Lindymoomoo Jealousy. Flirtationship.
Friday, June 22, 2012
 Have many thoughts in mind right now which i feel so uncomfortable keeping to myself, so i shall rant it to my private space here. I really dont understand how many guys manage to flirt even when they got girlf. (no including my boyf and co though) Flirt i meant that asking girls out for dinner or movie dates despite you yourself having a girlf? I mean shouldnt they suppose to go for these dates with their own girlf instead of just any random girl friends they made online or in real life? What will their girlf think? Are they considered outgoing to let their boyf ask anyone out despite them knowing? Text any girls as and when they like? Wont they ever feel insecure when their boyf just flirts around? I dont understand how some girls could tolerate that. Im not being mean by saying no , guys who are attached shouldnt ask girls out for chilling sessions etc. But at least, bring your girlf along. My boyf does that, he asked me along whenever he meets his friends, and i really feel that he cherished me and respected me. Whether girls or guys friends, im still happy to meet friends of my boyf. Thats how he earned by trust and gave me a sense of security. By which i think, many guys should do that too. I kind of hate guys who ask girls out without asking/telling their girlfriends. Its like deceiving them and doing something suspicious behind their back. I believe that if you're attached you should stay faithful and devoted to your partner. not saying that you should cut off ties with ur girl/guy friends, but intro them to your girl/boyf. well, i dont think there is a need for extreme cases like cutting off ties with guy/girlfriends, to prevent your girl/boyfriends from flirting around. You have to trust your partners. I trust my boyf, and i believe he trusted me too. Also i'll get irritated if attached guys sweet talks girls who are already attached. (ESPECIALLY SO). I hate guys who find chances to talk to me, or ask me out for movie dates etc when i dont even know u well. So if i go with u, what will my boyf think about me? i dont wanna him to have any ideas of me choosing to go dates with other ppl instead of him. I would rather date my boyf out for movies or chilling sessions. I just get really uncomfortable. I hate lying and cheatings especially to my loved ones, and i believe they will not do th same to me. So the more i should have self-control to just stay devoted to my partner. Everyone will have a sense of jealousy and protectiveness especially towards your partners. Me & him we both have great sense of jealousy and protectiveness , but we choose to believe in each other and trust the friends we both made. Trust isnt earned easily and once broken , its really hard to regain back. Trust is like giving your partners a part of yourself choosing to believe that they'll cherish and not hurt you. I choose to trust and i choose to believe in not only my bf but myself too. I believe that he falls in love with me for a reason, whether its my character or personal qualities which attracted him to me. As long as he makes an effort to keep this r/s going, i'll too work hard together with him. if he ever changes heart so easily, i could only blame myself for not giving him enough that he could be so easily taken away by others. (but i dont think he will) lol. I treat him quite nice till now and i believe we've a long future ahead. Conclusion : What i want to say is : Attached ppl should have self-control of yourself not being so close to the opposite sex and think of your partners before making any decisions or doing any stuffs. Hopefully that people will not harass me to go out with them , i'll seriously get pissed off. I prefer going out w my girlfs, and boyf. So i dont really have time left for people whom im not familiar with. ;) Toodles, Lindy 4th Monthsary
Thursday, June 7, 2012
Neglected my blog for a pretty pretty long period of time, have been busy with polymates, and hanging out with bf & co. Today's is our 4th month yeap! Time really really flies. 4th month we celebrate this day together and we went iceskating! Went iceskate @ jcube w bby, derek, my bro, bby's mom & sists. Everyone of them dont know how to skate, only me, my bro, and bby's mom knows a lil about skating. It was hard at first to teach them all while balancing myself on the ice. It was really hilarous to see bby being a newbie in iceskating , and keep falling down :x lol. But still , he improved and learn basic iceskating already. Happy for him! The process was fun, we skate like nobody's business and fall together. Fall so hard that the crews came to pick us up (so paiseh) Trolololol. But yeah we laugh about it, we skate supporting each other hand in hand. This feeling is just right ;) At first i thought he'll say iceskating was not fun, but still he love it. Derek wasnt keen though. Ended th day w bby's mom treating us icecream :D She's so nice towards me, really grateful to her for cooking meals for me, and doting on me like my mom. Head over to derek's house & ate w derek. Derek sent me to mrt station, he's forever a good bro to send me back :) Hahah. Thankyou baby and all the people who skated with us today, i really enjoyed myself, even though it's only a 2 hour experience Hehe ^-^ !-- seriously hoping that 'she' will give me back what i deserve in one month's time. I'm really dissapointed with her actions and her attitude. treat it as i made the wrong friend. i lost faith in someone close to me in the past. Bitch pls :) Relationships ; Love
Thursday, April 19, 2012
Was back from my long mia-ing. Partially becuz im too lazy to post , or im too tired after hectic school every single day. Seriously poly timetable is even more suckier than secondary school timetable, more hectic and the only thing is that we're able to wear what we want and have longer breaks. Tutorials are boring and teachers are not entertaining at all. Poly life isnt that great afterall. Alright enough of rantings , now for serious topics. I have this topic in mind that i seriously wanted to post like long time ago. RELATIONSHIPS. Well to me , relationships are very important. Especially , love, and family ties. Love and family ties are forever the number 1 in my life followed by friends. Its the fact and i do admit that to many of my friends. Love Im considered very lucky to have a stable relationship now. Even though its not very long but till now, both of us are still happy with each other. With his presence in my life, he can really make me forget about everything and just enjoy my time together with him. We do not text often but we occasionally each other or even call. However now, even though its lesser, but i think we're both busy with our lives, and so why not give each other space and freedom. Sometimes i do know that sms spams are really irritating , so i dont really spam him. I jolly well know that i do miss him but i would wait for his text, if he bothers he'll reply. I dont really wanna control my boyf that much. Both of us dont really have a good past , but we accepted each other for who we are. He's that type of man who knows how to takecare of his girlf, wouldnt lie and sometimes sweet at times. I believe that he's good enough for me, and hence, i'll b a good girlf who will accept his flaws, and cherish him. Many people ask me why dont we quarrel. Simple as that, we think that quarrelling is a waste of time. Instead of quarrelling, why not talk things out nicely and just spend time together happily. Meeting up once in a time, is not for couples to start quarrelling with each other and worsen th r/s but to spend time wisely together bringing both of us closer to one another. Quarrelling is childish, quarrelling for minor stuffs is even more stupid. I do not like to quarrel with my boyf, i dont even want to attempt to make him angry. Peace and understanding in a r/s is super important. That applies to everyone including us. Time of knowing each other isnt that important but is the process whereby couples get together and start realising small little details of each other and start caring for one another. slowly, building up mutual trust within each other and understand each others need. I may not be the perfect girlf who understand my boyf totally, but i know that sometimes i do make th effort to realise little things he likes. He did realised mine, and sometimes he's so observant that he knows what i want without me telling. There was one time i was having menses , i didnt eat dinner . My darling disappear after his dinner and brought back a waffle for me. He knows im somehow hungry but dont really have the appetite, and so he make th effort to search for snacks for me to munch on . How sweet? It may not be a great thing, waffles may not be expensive, but its his thoughts that counts. And i was really touched at that moment. A relationship will never be perfect with only one person just putting in th effort to keep it going. it requires both parties effort. Feelings may fade eventually however, memories would never ever go away. If someday one of him/her loses feelings, it's really useless for another party to want to keep the r/s going . Its gonna be hard and he/she will rarely succeed. Dont hold onto a r/s when it's already broken . Dont try mending back the cracks in a r/s when you know eventually you'll still be miserable. Loving someone is wonderful feeling , and being love is a blessing. Love should make you happy but not miserable, Love should make you into a better person instead of a person who will turn negative. Love is unconditional, Love is giving in unlimited care and effort. Love is accepting and overcoming obstacles together. And Love, most importantly, is holding him/her walking down the journey of life together, regardless of ups & downs, but still giving support to each other. Ong Jun Long, you're th love of my life, ;) . Overdue photos
Wednesday, April 11, 2012
            Expo > Jingting's birthday > Enrolment shots > 2nd Month > Jolin's birthday photos. -- Poly has started orientation week and tmwr will be the fourth day of orientation. I remember th first two days i wasnt able to make friends because im too shy and dare not ask people for their numbers / fb and even start a convo. But now, i've two new friends. Haha, they're really nice and cute people, and i hope tmwr onwards i get to know more of my classmates thru flagday and the campfire. :) ! Friday is a break for me! so i shall get my ass out with huihui & derek & of cuz my darling to celebrate their 2nd monthsary. Hope it'll be fun!! Darling suggested universal studios for our 3rd month! i really wanted to go!! and especially with him cuz i know it'll be really fun.. so shall start saving money already ^^!! Will not meet darling tomorrow since i've too much stuffs at school til night hope that his checkup will be fine, i will miss him damn badly :( !! I'm kind of getting more and more scared that he's going army soon and what if, we cant meet that often and we'll be busy with our stuffs will we drift? I hope not!! I've confidence in this r/s since we're both easy going people , hehe . Darling , i hope to last really long with you having monthsary, year-sary and .... many years of us being together. I hope it'll happen :) <3 Hehe. Shall sleep soon since tmwr i've to wake up damn early fr school. Nightz! loves, LindyMooMoo second monthsary
Sunday, April 8, 2012
Shall give a little update today since im in a happy mode ! ^-^ <3Yesterday was my 2nd month with darling! The day i've always been looking forward to! Had last minute plannings to sentosa. I woke up early in the morning , and everyone's still asleep until baby's awake @ 10+. Packed my stuffs and went down to find them @ khatib. (reason : to be an alarm clock to wake them up) LOL. When we arrived they alr wake up liao... LOL, just that we couldnt contact each other. Hui is having some problems w her family but luckily she came down for us for th sentosa trip. Luckily the trip went on if not i'll be damn shagged! Waited for hui while watching pink panther movie with derek. Then pester them to go and bathe and get our asses down to sentosa siloso beach via cab. Along the way my loveliest darling bought ben and jerry's icecream for us to celebrate our 2nd month. Hahaha, damn sweet & awesome :) . Reached th beach with loads of people there , found our way to get a spot for our vball session teehee. idk why when i see them play vball i feel like laughing cuz they're just too cute when they miss the ball. N derek even fell on his butt! Junlong's mommy n sister came to join us and we went into the waters. I lost th rings in th sea and i manage to find mine but not his. I really panicked, knwing tat its an important day and i cant lose the things he buy for us. :( was shagged and kept on touching the sand to find th ring. But then surprisingly.........idk why th ring got into junlong's shorts and it was tied by a knot... i rmbred i drop it into the sand i found mine on th sand but why....? how did th ring get into his shorts???? hmmm... mystery indeed... HAHAHA nvm... at least we found it. Then it started raining so heavily that all of us ran for th toilets n shelters. Bathed and head over to vivo for our dinner, ate bak kuteh! th nicest and warmest dinner for our clique ever! ^_^. They ate like gorillas though -____- Went over for shopping as darling requested. Kinda suspicious of why he suddenly so enthu to shop. Then he began asking me what i like. LOL. So i knew he was gonna give me something. I came across a necklace and it was quite nice so i said it WAS NICE. and he distracted me to find derek n hui. Without my knowledge, he ran to th shop and bought that necklace for me! Hahaha, i was touched. like seriously.. didnt know that my darling will be that romantic as well. Hahaha. He helped me to put on th necklace and said it was pretty on me, that it represents him. Yeah, i'll cherish it baby, just like i had you with me every single moment. Your heart will be with me :) . Watched fireworks n head back home via mrt. Darling was hugging me all the way on th mrt, and i felt love all th way. Today seems so special... just like our valentines day. So sweet and romantic, you made me see a different you and really made me touched with little things u do. Your hugs ur laughters ur jokes are forever so addictive that i longed for more. Thankyou for everything ytd, and i will do my best for our third month.. giving u an unforgettable one too ;) , i love you bby! Love, LindyMoomoo changes from time to time
Thursday, April 5, 2012
          From the picture wise, this is how much i changed over the years. See how vain i get as i grow up. HAHHA, totally my face is just make up make up and make up. Right now, without makeup, i dont even feel like stepping out the my house. At least with foundation then i'm more confident to go out and meet people. People in this century are all judgemental, they judge people base on looks. If you're pimple face = ugly, fat = ugly . thats how they judge people. Nobody ever looks into the inner beauty. (only minority will) I remembered one incident very vividly in my mind, which really changed my thinking. In the past, i wasnt really bothering about my appearance. I can go out with un-styled wet hair, normal looking fbt shorts, normal tshirt. Im just ok with anything i wear. Until i met a guy who keep asking me out online , i was irritated , so i went out to meet him and guess what, after meeting him for half and hour, he said he gotta go and he was sorry asking if i mind. Of cuz i told him i dont mind but deep down, I DO MIND you bastard. I was thinking, hello? you're the one who keep asking me out and yet pangseh-ing me when you saw my hideous and ugly looks , just because im not any chio girl? I was really blaming him at first , talking about how bastard he is and how judgemental he is. But till then i realise, scolding him isnt going to change anything but instead... try changing myself to be better. And so i did, i began putting on makeups , buying more clothes and of cuz shorts, dresses. When i tried on makeup firstly, i felt weird to need to have so much powder covering my flaws on my face, but after doing more of facials and starting to takecare of my skin, my skin turn better and i look better and more refreshing with light makeups. I still hated my dull eyebags. :( But yea! Even though i cant say that i become prettier but i'm starting to look better which im proud of over the years, even my cousins say so ! i was happy indeed. I very much agree with the phrase, no one is ugly, only lazy people are ugly. If you spend effort to make yourself look better, you'll feel more confident when you go out. Putting on makeup, doesnt mean FAKE. Makeup itself can make you look better, it can boost your confidence of how you appear to be to people. Yeah, natural is always the best however, everyone has flaws, sometimes to cover up flaws, you need makeup. Thats what i think. Over the years, everyone will change , in terms of looks, size, appearance. However attitude will not change, personality as well. Being pretty is one thing , having a good personality is another thing. Pretty but having a sucky attitude turns people off and they are considered 'ugly people'. Ugly but having a good attitude , normally people judge them as 'beautiful' . Having a beautiful heart matters more than having a pretty face. Its okay to have an average looks but more importantly having a positive attitude against everything. I cant say i've a good attitude but i do have high tolerance level and i do understand people more so i end up always counselling people about r/s stuffs, friendship problems. (however its ironic that sometimes i couldnt even solve my own problems :(! ) Next, being FAT . Yes im fat. Slightly overweight just because of my height and my huge lower body. My confidence level was drawn down by my weight of cuz. Many people do make fun of my size, criticizing sometimes not knowing that i feel hurt too. Sometimes i do smile and say fat lor, im fat :) . But deep down, i do mind, fk it why am i fat? why cant i slim down and be like my slim friends? I do wanna tell my friends who once criticized or make fun of me, Hey, yes im fat, but do you know sometimes i tried to slim down really badly? You know how much i want to be able to wear those pretty clothes , get my ass into those pretty shorts but it doesnt have my size? Any idea how much i want to be slim so that i appear better? but i often thought, no , they wouldnt care. As long as you're fat = FAT . FAT = no pretty. FAT/PRETTY will definately lose to SLIM/AVG LOOKING. thats a really sad case. As time passes i began to ignore people comments and started putting in effort to make myself look better, even though im still fat but at least i maintained my weight, i eat lesser and i learn to look after my diet. I believe that one day, i can slim down. I still wanna wear pretty clothes :) . I just wanna really tell my friends who are big size that, even though we're fat, but dont really bother about how people is going to judge you, as long as you're fat they are going to continue to judge you. so why bother? their comments will only hurt you, pull ur confidence level down, isnt it? So why not learn to change yourself, you may not see how different you can be now but in future you'll. Ending with - Nobody's prefect right? Slowly work towards perfection and never give up! Luv, LindyMooMoo. |
Goodbye.
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